Apr 21st, 2007
Prather Ranch Jerky Bandits
The beloved Prather Ranch meat truck, packed and ready for the Grand Lake Farmers Market, was broken into last night on Telegraph Ave in Oakland. 40 pounds of buffalo jerky was taken, as well as farmers market signage and important documents worthless to the thief. Now, what will that guy (it was a guy) do with all that jerky?
Here are some suggestions on how the thief can unload 40 pounds of buffalo jerky.
1. Give it back to the hard working, ethical, family ranchers, but send a little my way before you do. After all, this is my idea.
2. Set up a lemonade stand nowhere near Telegraph Avenue, and sell the buffalo jerky on the sly. Tell people it pairs nicely with lemonade. Give all proceeds to Alameda County Food Bank to ensure you don’t go directly to hell.
3. Next week, set up a stand at the Grand Lake Farmers Market right next to the big, strong, cattle and buffalo slaughtering ranchers who made the jerky and try to sell it at half price. Let me know how that works out for you.
Oh man, that sucks! I’m gonna have to give Scott a call… at least the theives were dumb and didn’t clean him out of the really awesome meat in the trailer!! Then again, where would they stash 40 pounds of high quality meat without a deep freeze?!